i don't think you understand

my room right now. i don't even have a bed.

hello!

i had this fucked up dream, well, more like a nightmare that i was pregnant. i had just found out that i was pregnant and in my dream, i was really excited. and in my dream, i was telling my parents and they were really excited. i never ever want to be pregnant in my life. i think i had this dream because i spent a really long time look at pictures of my friends baby last night. she's cute. i looked up "dreaming about being pregnant" and this is what i found:

Pregnant

To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

i like that interpretation. i'll accept it.

my favorite person in the world right now is a bar regular at avalon, his name is bruce. a few weeks ago, the other bar regulars were mad at him because he said something pretty obscene and i felt really sad for him. he would sit by himself and i knew he was lonely, but he still kept a smile on his face. he drinks pbr out of the bottle and he wears a gold necklace and i don't know what it is, but he sorta reminds me of my dad. i think the other regulars aren't mad at him anymore because yesterday, he was laughing and cursing up a storm with them and it was nice to see him happy. there is a lot of weird tension going on right now, but surprisingly none of it involves me. i wish that everyone would relax and i wish that everyone could just be happy, just like bruce.

watermelon

when i was in the fourth grade, my best friend christina and i heard that eating a lot of watermelon would make your boobs bigger. we didn't even have boobs yet, but we wanted them. so her mom bought us a whole watermelon and we split it. i ate an entire half of a watermelon, hoping that by the end, my boobs would have sprouted. well, they didn't. they still haven't. i puked a lot of watermelon that day and ever since then i haven't been able to eat it. most people just think i'm crazy. i have hated watermelon and watermelon flavored things for about 12 years now. the other day, i had a piece of a watermelon and i sorta liked it. at joe's tonight, they had watermelon for $1.50, so i decided to order it and try it out again. little did i know that i would be getting a quarter of the watermelon. it wasn't that great. maybe too watery. but who knows, maybe this time my boobs will grow.

both of my roommates are out of town and i will be home alone basically until the middle of august. i've looked at everything that i can on the internet, watched everything on tv, but am still refusing to clean my room. today is not the right day. and neither is tomorrow. i have just been following the cats around the house and trying to find morsels of food on the ground to eat. i do not plan on doing anything for the fourth of july. i don't care that it's america's birthday, does america care when it's mine? hmm oh well. this is a dumb post, so i will make up for it with a picture of the cutest duo in town.