tuesday morning

i am knee deep in school work but when james asks me to stay in bed for two more hours, i have to do it. tuesday mornings are my favorite time with him because we sit in bed and do nothing and i pop zits on his back, even though they are not ready, he demands it. then we watch my favorite shitty reality show because it is always on. sometimes he makes me a salad or sometimes we order thai food. then 1:50 rolls around and i have to go to work. most of the time, he is the one leaving for work, 9:30am, kissing my cheek, and with one eye open, i say, "do it again!". he does it again and i go back to sleep. but on tuesday mornings, i just want time to freeze and i want to take it every minute that i have with him, i don't know what it is but i hate leaving him. three days ago, i was really going to leave him. forever. i packed all of my things in my paisley print weekender bag that i bought for our trip to boston. i put the rest of my things in my purse and i was ready to walk out of the door and out of his life and i wasn't turning back. this time was for real. but somehow, just like every tuesday morning, i couldn't leave him.